ex-Yugoslavia Archives

The European Vertical: The blue arrows represent contempt.

Vladimir Arsenijević recently wrote an interesting article about the relationship between Serbs and Albanians called “Our negroes, our enemies.” Ethnic relations in the former Yugoslavia are just a big fat depressing mess, and this article does a great job of tackling the particularly bad feelings surrounding Kosovo.

He also mentions the “European vertical,” or the “Yugoslavian brand of racism”, which was:

… always directed at those who were on the next rung down geographically and economically. Hence the Slovenians showed the contempt they felt for the country bumpkins, idlers or failures of the other republics most clearly towards the Croatians; the Croatians for their part passed it on to the Serbs; and the latter, in turn, took pleasure in making fun of the Macedonians or Montenegrins. The Bosnians, on the other hand, as the people who inhabited the centre of the Republic of Yugoslavia, were the object of mockery from all sides.

I don’t agree with his assessment later on of Albanians as “absolute outsiders” because I can think of another group that is even further away outside. It’s still a fascinating article and a great introduction to the Kosovo problem.

And while we’re on the subject, Viktor recently put together one of the greatest posts ever, regarding Serbian conspiracy theories about Kosovo and the world. It’s a must-read.

[Via A Fistful of Euros]

Predrag’s homework. Click to see full-page version.

Predrag XXXX 4b¹

An event at school

Two weeks ago we had music. The teacher called me to the blackboard because I was talking to my schoolmate Senad. She told me that I have to sing a song that I can do best. I started singing Zašto baš ti moja ikono sa zida [”Why you, my idol, from the wall?” — a Serbian turbofolk song] The teacher stopped me immediately and gave me a note to bring home. When I showed it to my Dad, he started laughing and said: “Sine reci ti njoj da je Mile Kitić car.” [”Son, tell her that Mile Kitić rules.] I said this, and then there was a parent-teacher conference.

Very modest and superficial
and modest, but there’s progress! 1-2²

(Thanks Dejan!)

1. I can’t know for sure if this thing is real or not but I removed the surname regardless. Suffice it to say that, like the first name, it’s also indicative of a Serbian immigrant. Hence the many grammar mistakes and the occasional Serbian words. [back]
2. The American equivalent would be F-D [back]

Behold the soccer stars of 1986/1987 Yugoslavia:

Click for original mega size.

See also:

* I Love Mullets
* Rate my Mullet
* Mullet (alias Bundesliga) at Wikipedia

(Thanks to the always-potentially-nsfw Pengovsky!)

These children are even singing in Serbo-Croatian. I think.

Tito died two years after this video was made. The performance itself is nearly 30 years old. And yet North Korea is still pushing out bizarro stuff like this. Go take a look at this video of three-year-old Mo Kin performing on the xylophone and you’ll see definite similarities.

I’m super enthralled with North Korea. It’s a country so far down the rabbit hole that I don’t think I will ever live long enough to see it come out. Watching videos from KCNA TV in Pyongyang, like North Korean high school girls or Dear Leader riding a horse, can only leave you feeling hopeless.

Thankfully it’s not all bad. For example, if you’ve never seen the music video Fuckin’ USA, you need to go treat yourself to it. It’s phenomenal.

A compelling Tito documentary by Janja Glagovac and RTV Slovenia.

I found this documentary to be pretty riveting and despite severe restrictions on my time watched the entire thing. Please note that it has English subtitles throughout, which is great. Here’s a quick run-down of what the film deals with:

* Tito’s death
* Tito’s toxicology team
* Tito’s awesome wardrobe
* The Queen’s visit (including a waltz with Tito)
* Tito’s visits abroad (including a scene where he speaks English at a press conference with Kennedy)
* Tito’s self-destructive eating habits (Veal or chicken for breakfast?? The money quote: “Everything had to be greasy.”)
* To the waiter who once spilled food on him: “What are you waiting for, you put some on my back now put some on my plate so I can eat.”
* A Slovenian veteran talks about the famous Raid on Drvar attempt to capture Tito during WWII.
* Tito’s awesome wardrobe again (Camel-hair underwear??)
* His meeting with Khrushchev (includes a funny story about Tito paddling him with a billiard stick)
* A bit about Jovanka, his ill-fated wife
* His death

I did feel like a few things were missing. The film kind of grazes over some formative events. I’d like to know more, for example, about his time in Russia, as well as the power struggles of the post-war period, his legendary womanizing, his break with Stalin, his suppression of dissent, and perhaps more about the man himself. I suppose it should have been longer.

Maybe there’s a director’s cut?

(Via the new and promising Vunzvraga)

André 3000 wrapped in Croatian national colors. (source)

You really have to hand it to Croatia when it comes to branding. They’re the only ones who escaped from the dull, pan-Slavic-with-a-red-star monotony of Yugoslav symbols to emerge with instantly recognizable national colors. Say what you want, but the red & white checkers are distinctive, unlike Slovenia’s seal — or any of the miserable flags that have been proposed by the stylistically handicapped over the years to try to make Slovenia stand apart. The most-recent suggestion was so universally loathed that it was shelved, and the whole idea had to be put on ice.

In the meantime, famous rappers are wrapping themselves up in Croatian scarves. A new fashion trend may be on the horizon…

(Thanks Nina!)

Part One: From Dubrovnik to Split.

Part 2: From Split to Ljubljana, which “feels Austrian” and “like Salzburg without Mozart.”

Part 3: From Lipica to Bled to the Alps.

The above clips are all from über-nerd Rick Steves’ travel show, specifically episode 112: Slovenia and Croatia. The entire script for the show can be read here.

The audio is occasionally out of synch, but not catastrophically so. Big, big thanks to the mighty Klemen for digging these up!

(Thanks Klemen!)

“Alpine milk” version 1.0. It currently looks like this.


The “hedgehog” ice cream bar.


Pasteurized milk… mmmmm.


Yugoslav cheese spread.


Yogurt / Fruit yogurt


Nowadays, asking for a Zlatorog will get you this.

If anyone has any memories about these products (what they tasted like, if they’re still available anywhere) please leave a comment!

(Thanks Pengovsky!)

Oh, Tito, why hast thou forsaken us?

Tina recently caught this gem on the finest radio station in America: “Yugonostalgia Takes Hold in Slovenia“. Reporter Amy Standen does an absolutely bang-up job, bravely fighting through some difficult pronunciations, and even does so from within Slovenia. (Considering how few foreign reporters there are here, I can’t emphasize how unusual that is.)

Yugonostalgia itself is a peculiar thing, in that people will speak bitterly of the political situation in one breath, but praise the slower more relaxed pace of life in another. I’ve also found that, amazingly, many of the people who benefited the most from the switch to a market economy (managers or the nouveau riche) will speak quite fondly of the “old days.”

The story is here (just click on the red “listen” icon)

(Thanks Tina!)

You can have a ball with the new ball bra! (source)

According to these statistics, Slovenia once boasted 105 patents per million people, whereas Croatia had only 9. This was back in 1998. I suspect that nowadays the ball is back in Croatia’s court. And ever since they’ve unleashed the Ball Bra (For a Man’s Big and Small Balls) it’s definitely a whole new ball game. The lesson here is that you can’t rest on your laurels, especially when it comes to innovating and entreprenuership. Croatia kept its eyes on the ball, Slovenia dropped the ball. And so here we are. Croatia has Slovenia by the balls.

(Thanks Crni!)