Archives for June 12th, 2007

These Slovenes don’t even know that nuclear armageddon may soon be upon them!

Author Richard Lourie recently wrote a stupid editorial that appeared in various Russian newspapers. In it, he warns against the expansion of NATO and includes this particularly stupid sentence:

“The United States and the rest of the West are now in the rather odd position of risking armageddon to defend Slovenia.”

Here’s why I think this stupid sentence is so stupid:

1) The U.S. and the West have always been in the “rather odd position” of defending smaller states from bigger ones. From the very minute that NATO went live in 1949, the U.S. was in the “rather odd position” of having to defend countries like Denmark, Iceland and Portugal from atomic death. In other words, the current arrangement is not new, not noteworthy, and definitely not “odd” because it’s always been like this. The only difference between today and 1949 is that today there isn’t even a real threat anymore. (Unless you subscribe to the theory that the Soviet Union faked its death and will soon return.) Which brings me to point number two:

2) DEFEND SLOVENIA FROM WHAT EXACTLY? Try to think up a scenario where Slovenia somehow provokes a nuclear holocaust. Not just any scenario. Try to think of one that doesn’t make you sound like a total nutter. You can’t. You know why? Because only a total nutter thinks that Slovenia is some kind of dangerous security liability for the west. If anything, the reverse is true: the smaller NATO countries are being pulled along for various missions abroad by the larger ones, namely America. Slovenia has sent troops to Afghanistan, Iraq, Kosovo and many other places, but nowhere unilaterally. Who exactly is in an odd position in this relationship? Because:

3) Let’s suspend disbelief for a moment and assume that somehow Slovenia goes to war. Raise your hand if you honestly think that NATO would feel compelled to rush to Slovenia’s defense. If hostilities erupted at the border, do you think the U.S. would scramble fighters from Aviano? If your hand is up right now, please close it into a fist and then direct it repeatedly into your own face, because you chose…… poorly. Regardless of what the NATO charter says, you can’t tell me that NATO will go to war unless it actually wants to.

And that’s why I think it’s a stupid sentence.