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Swans near the Carinthian Bridge. Not pictured: The Sword of Damocles above them.
A few weeks ago, two swans left the calm, muddy waters of the Drava River to build their nest and await the arrival of their bevy of cygnets1. They both worked hard over a period of 48 hours but because their nest is adjacent to a popular river promenade, they were regularly interrupted by gawking pedestrians and beserker dogs. I personally saw the male, or “cob”, fight off (although the better word would be “hiss off”) three dogs, one lady, and a small child. (Not simultaneously… but it was still pretty damn impressive.)
Most of the river birds in this area were “disappeared” following the bird flu outbreak, so these two have probably seen worse. In fact, it’s a bit of a surprise that they’re here at all. But they’re survivors, they ain’t gonna give up, they ain’t gonna stop. And for the past few weeks, they’ve been sitting on their four eggs while the weather went nuts around them, never giving an inch.
But tonight comes the biggest challenge of their lives: Lampijončki. It’s a festival of drunken student mayhem, and their nest happens to be on the primary route to get there. Not only will hundreds of drunken kids be passing them on the way to the party, hundreds of even-drunker kids will be passing them on the way back to the city. The question is: will the swans live through the night?
Leave your guess in the comments. The factors to guess are:
1) How many swans will be dead tomorrow morning?
——-> Zero/One/Two
2) How many of the eggs will be destroyed?
——-> Zero/One/Two/Three/Four
3) How much damage will be done to the nest?
——-> None/Minor/Major/Total
The winner gets this prize: An original copy of Apocalypse Now Redux on DVD, which is itself a classic commentary on the innate horrors of humanity. We’ll use classic Price is Right rules, which means the person who gets closest without going over wins. I’ll report on their condition tomorrow. I’ll be rooting for them.
- I learned this word while studying for the SAT, never thinking that I would ever be able to use it. This will probably be the last time I can ever employ it, so forgive me. That said, I still don’t know if “bevy” is the right word for a flock of swans. Frankly, I’m too damn excited about being able to use “cygnet” to check. [back]
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Welcome back!
I am going out on a limb here and will vote for zero, zero, and none. Not because I wish to play the eternal optimist, but because I am dead scared of swans.
Nice use of ‘cygnet’, by the way. ‘Bevy’ was just showboatin’.
Welcome back, Michael. I have no idea what the right answers are and I know that you’ll forgive me for saying I don’t much care. I’m just glad you’re back in business!
I’m with A and hope they’ll get through the night unscathed. Perhaps you could play the David Bowie song ‘Cygnet Committee’ (and perhaps even start one to save ‘em ;))?
Hm… Maybe it’s because I’m not so optimistic, or maybe I just want that DVD so badly :D…. I’d say 0/2/Minor… Hope A. and ARF are right, though…
Well, I think it’ll go this way… they will break 2 eggs, creating major damage. 0 casualties on the swans, but at least one of the little drunk assholes will be injured in the process.
Therefore the whole society will be traumatized, because the poor guy will feel like suiciding as he saw his dreams frustrated, so the surviving eggs will be given to him so he can break them and achieve happiness. As well, the swans will be massacred by some “ekspert”. Anyway, they didn’t have potrdilo, so who cares?.
The question here would be: How many times will Michael fall over the nest trying to avoid the raging bull, sorry “cob”, while returning home drunk from Lampiončki?
I’ll try and make sure he doesn’t though
0/1/minor
My guess would be 0/2/major.
Unfortunately I see this guess as realistic, not pessimistic. 
Thumbs up for the cygnet. It makes me want to take SAT just for the sake of gaining knowledge.
Hm. The problem is the possible quantity of students trying to use what they will consider a perfectly legal path for human use … Maybe you could smuggle some more swans into the area?
My predictions: Zero/All/Major
0, 0, and 0
because angry swan is something to be very afraid of
i know
I second slovon11. Does this mean we’ll have to share the DVD?
Hm. Not that some of them have seen THIS…
Well instead of a bet I would give a suggestion: could any you sacrifise the night and do some patroling around the area during the night? I’ll try to get in contact with MB’s local society against animal torture but more people wouldn’t hurt in case I fail (I myself am from quite far away from MB otherwise I’d do it myself).
If the rain continues to fall as it is at the moment the event will be postponed until next week anyway.
But… would this count in favor of those who said 0/0/0? Although the rules haven’t been specified for such a scenario let’s hope that the birds use the extra week and get the hell out of Dodge.
Couldn’t you protect them The American Way?
Just take a shotgut and hide in the bushes. Whoever looks in the direction of swans - shoot your rifle and blow that stupid idea off his head.
My guess is that neither the swans, nor anything else will be left.
0.0.0.
Because will rain!!
I sent them a link to this post…
It’s still raining lightly as of 14:45, which could very well be their saving grace. Jernej, are you sure they’d postpone it? I thought it was one of those shows that must go on no matter what.
Odyn: My wife had a similar idea. I live pretty close to the nest, so I might hear a serious ruckus if one broke out. But probably not if it happened at 3 in the morning.
Poulette: In the event of a tie, the person who sends in the most naked picture of themselves gets the prize. No, actually: first come first serve. (Pictures welcome, though)
I’ll say: 0/0/Minor just to differentiate me from the rest of the group.
Odyn has a good point. Could someone please do something and try to save the swans…
0/0/major to chose something different.
Nice to see you’re back online! I saw something similar on Bled Island. Guess, who I propose to guard the swans?
I did. I wrote to ŠKUC Maribor and sent them a link to this post.
You studied for the SAT?
Hmm, I’d find it damned funny if people who disturb the swans on purpose would really be squeezed by a 800kg-animal
Since I can’t unleash my character right now: how about going to the zoo and trying it out?
Think of the cygnets, won’t someone think of the cygnets?
The rain has stopped. It looks like the rain won’t save them.
Alcessa: Keep us updated. I’d be seriously impressed if they sent someone to guard the nest for the whole night/early hours of the morning.
Robert: Well, I “prepared” but it didn’t help much. They definitely didn’t ask about cygnets, dagnabbit.
Poor naive birds to be by that path! I think the adults will survive, so zero dead adult swans, I think none of the eggs will survive, and the nest will be a total loss.
I am scared both of large numbers of drunken students and swans, but the numbers are with the drunken students.
@alcessa: speed is everything
@the swans: good luck
thanks, alcessa!
and Katja, i’m scared of drunken students, too; not of the swans, however, even though i got bitten by one when i was little.
I just swung by the nest. As of 22:45, everything looks exactly the same as in the picture above — except that it’s dark. On my way back home, I could hear some kids taunting the swans with loud quacking noises, but it’s a bit of a cool, damp night and there don’t seem to be be as many people wandering about as in previous years.
And no, there was no one there watching out for the swans or anything, unless someone was camouflaged in the bushes all Rambo-style and stuff…
I’ll have an update tomorrow morning.
i’m going with zero.two.minor, Bob. No swans will die because they will run around hissing at the drunks. Two eggs will be destroyed due to the flood of urine that will also slightly damage the rest of the nest. Then again, being in plain sight of the public there may be peace..
Good Luck to the birds.
The Glory is back!