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Will somebody please kill this beast? (source)
Kevin kindly sent along this AFP story about Slovenia’s plans to terminate 100 brown bears this year with extreme prejudice.
This isn’t the first time Slovenia has culled its bear population. And it always manages to anger plenty of people: From the International Bear Association to the European Commission, which rightly pointed out that:
“…Slovenia’s estimate of its brown bear population at between 400 and 700 is so vague that it suggests the welfare of the species is not being properly monitored.”
I’m also among the angry, but for an entirely different reason: I’m wondering why the government isn’t doing more to profit from this. There are web sites, for example, like this one, which offer bear hunts in the backwoods of Russia. Prices start at over $4,000. Surely the Slovenian government should be trying to get a piece of this action. And yet, a Google search reveals nothing.
Selected Google Searches and Their Results
1) “Hunt Bears in Slovenia” : Only turns up this forum discussion, where someone mentions that you can hunt bears in Slovenia. Interestingly, later one member mentions this blog. My linking back to that forum is proof that life, and everything in it, is circular.
2) “I want to travel to Slovenia and kill bears” : The first result is for Spanish brown bears.
3) “hunting” AND “bears” AND “Slovenia” AND “bazooka” : 433 results, believe it or not. But not one of them telling you how to actually go about doing it.
4) “Due to deep-rooted insecurities about my own masculinity, I would like to travel to Slovenia and have a guide take me to where a bear is, and I mean, literally take me to a field and point to it so that all I have to do is push a button and it dies, and then I want to have it stuffed so that it looks ferocious standing in the study of my villa in Germany and for this service I’m willing to pay serious money.” : No results. Can you believe it? That search string has probably been put into Google a thousand times by now.
5) “Shoot something that can’t shoot back” AND “Slovenia” : Even a general search comes up empty. The first result is for this: the lyrics to Love Shot by Mandy Moore.
There’s clearly a lot of unexplored economic potential here, my friends. A lot. Someone just has to step in and seize it with their bare (stupid pun intended) hands.
(Thanks Kevin!)
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For some strange reason I find the idea of people with inferiority complex shooting our bears for loads of money even more repulsive than the idea of hunters shooting them. It’s probably because I find it more plausible that the hunters don’t do it for fun. Shooting live beings “just because they can” is a concept I don’t like (even though it could bring money).
Very good Michael… Plenty of sarcasm… Me like
For some strange reason I find the idea of people with inferiority complex shooting our bears for loads of money even more repulsive than the idea of hunters shooting them.
That’s just one group you’re describing there.
Apart from that, the problem with bears is a problem of local extreme (in mathematical sense). You (practically?) don’t have bears in east of Slovenia and there are fairly few Europe wide, but you have more than it seems viable for coexistance with humans in south and south west of Slovenia. There might not be enough of them on average in Europe, but it doesn’t follow that there are not too many of them locally in parts of Slovenia.
So what can you do? You can either shoot them or try to persuade them to move elsewhere. Neither has worked so far.
I take umbrage and offense at your proposal. Bazookas, indeed!
Marko: To an extent I agree… The main purpose of the hunters is not “shooting at will” but rather to try to keep the natural balance between humans and (in this case) bears. But killing 12-25 percent of a populations is hardly a way to keep a balance, methinks.
perhaps the cia could take them to egypt and shoot them there?
I just want to see (not shoot) one, before they are all gone, ok?
I am with you on this Majkl, I think it is silly that Slovenia isn’t trying to make some money off this deal. Bear meat is edible,I’ve eatten bear meat in the past, and I’ve seen sites that have bear meat jerky one can order. Bear skin makes a wonderful rug, and then one could sell bear naughty bits in China since they seem to think bear naughty bits are a natural Viagra.
That said, the estimates ARE vague, they need to get a handle on why bears can’t be resettled in other parts of Slovenia, perhaps the other places lack some key item bears need to enjoy their lives.
Then again shooting them is probably kinder than letting them be employed as dancing bears.
Do you guys remember last year when 1 bear appeared in Southern Germany and it caused huge panic a major manhunt to try to trap/kill it? Ironicaly, the bear is a symbol of Bavaria.
Outsiders are shocked when Slovenia announces it will cull 100 bears, yet no one wants to have them transfered to their country (I believe a few were sent to the French Pyrenees.)
Maybe other alternative solutions should be discussed, however, till then, bear jerky sounds mighty good to me.
Glad you found a way to use the piece, Michael. I hope that Prime Minister Janša reads your blog. Have you thought of applying for a hunting license? Maybe you could lead tours: “hunt bear in Slovenia with celebrity ex-pat Michael Manske!” I’m seeing a weekend gig in the making!
Mark - and it was the first bear in Bavaria after 170 years or so!