Archives for November 24th, 2006

Lyrics: Angry Granny. Music: Dino Dvornik. Video: Alen, alias mraak.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in Croatia, someone picked up the phone and called a little old lady. Instead of saying something the caller stayed quiet. But the little old lady was no friend of silence, so she unleashed a torrent of abuse at her mute interlocutor as fearsome as an avalanche. Her finely woven tapestry of obscenity was secretly recorded, and it spread through the lands of the south Slavs, inspiring awe wherever it went.

You can listen to the original recording here: Baba na telefonu. (Grandma on the phone)

Reader rox kindly provided an English translation of her scurrilous soliloquy here:

“Hello? God fucked your mother, whoever you are, on this day. God fucked your mother, whoever you are. Your mother’s cunt, that pushed you out; watch out, the police are going to come for you. You just watch out. Don’t play with your life, God fucked your mother. I’ll send the police to you, you shitty turd.

“Hello? Who’s being quiet? God fucked his mother on this day. The devil fucked his father and mother, gracefully, his mother’s cunt, which pushed him out… damned turd. I’ll find out who’s ringing, but you’ll get fucked. I tell you honestly, I’ll send the police to you, your mother’s obnoxious cunt. Don’t let me come for you, you’ll fuck your own mother. So now you know. You damned old queer, the devil fucked your gypsy mother. Obnoxious. You shitty turd.”

Inevitably, a Croatian DJ (Dino Dvornik) set these lascivious lyrics to music. And now Alen has given the music and lyrics what they urgently needed: Clint Eastwood et al. (See video above, or click here.) It’s seriously wonderful.

(Big thanks to rox and Alen!)