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Verboten will eat the competition’s children this weekend. (via Sloreactor)
Act I; scene i — Michael’s workplace. Michael is sitting at his desk. The head of music programming enters.
Music Editor: Are you going to SRF (the Slovenian Radio Festival) for us on Friday?
Michael: I’d rather not.
Music Editor: Why not?
Michael: I’m still recovering from the humiliation of mispronouncing Leeloojamais on-air last year. Besides, I went the last two years. What if someone else goes this time?
Music Editor: Like who?
Michael: Like KaÄ?a. She’s much better at this stuff.
Act I; scene ii — Michael’s workplace. Michael is sitting at his desk. KaÄ?a enters.
KaÄ?a: Hey, man, thanks for "volunteering" me for SRF.
Michael: Ha, ha. Anytime, KaÄ?.
KaÄ?a: You know that Natalija Verboten is coming this year, right? I’ll probably interview her and get my picture taken with her and everything.
[Michael’s reaction]
So, yeah. The moral of this story, as Aesop figured out centuries ago, is never trust a kaÄ?a. (snake) If it wasn’t for her unforgivable trickery, this story would have a second act. A juicy one. Maybe something like this:
Act II; scene i — Michael, holding a microphone and sweating, interviews Natalija Verboten at SRF.
Michael: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Natalija.
Natalija Verboten: Likewise. Say, you want to meet up after the show and party?
Michael: Hmm. That sounds like a lot of fun, but I’m married and probably shouldn’t. I’m really flattered, though.
Verboten: Well, how about if we go to your place instead? Then maybe your wife and I could slip into something sexy and make out on the bed while you sit and watch, smiling the smilingest smile that has ever been smiled.
[Michael’s reaction]
You know what? I’m going to punch KaÄ?a in the face the next time I see her.
Moving right along: There is a lot of Verboten-related action this weekend that I think I should quickly mention. First, she will perform at SRF tonight. She probably won’t win, but at least she’ll get her picture taken with KaÄ?a. At SRF, the smart money is on Omar Naber and Jan Plestenjak. They’ve each been nominated about 50 times, so I’m doing what gamblers call "playing the odds."
It gets a little bit trickier when it comes to predicting who will win the EMA on Sunday. The winner of EMA gets to represent Slovenia at the widely disparaged but always talked-about Eurovision Song Contest. The current favorites are Atomik Harmonik, SaÅ¡a Lendero, and Ms. Verboten. If it was up to me, of course, this would be a done deal. But I have a nagging feeling that SaÅ¡a will win it. We’ll see what happens.
Finally, to answer your question: Yes, it’s very sacreligious to talk about this stuff while Europe is gearing up to celebrate Mozart Day. And, yes, being burned to death would be a fair punishment for me. All I ask is that you tie KaÄ?a to the same stake as me, so that I can die in peace.
Comments for this post are closed.
When it comes to Mozart orgy vs. Fraulein Verboten, I’d pick the later without slightest hesitation. What they do with Amadeus here is definitely beyond tastefullness, for example he’s been declared for a Vienese lately, although he evidently wrote in one if his letters Mein Arsch ist kein Wiener (my arse is not a vienese). At least this we have in common.
POP-TV is saying that the song she will be singing at ESC is plagiarised. Hey, it’s OK with me - as long as some other THINGS are not "plagiarised".
24ur.com/naslovnica/ekskluziv/glasba/20060126_3068416.phpDid you know that there was a "Društvo ljubiteljev slovenske Evrovizije". We are doomed.
The "druÅ¡tvo" is very much known inside the media bubble and let me asure you that they take themselves very seriously - altough others don’t. But they can be pretty useful… if you know what I mean ;))@Michael: Why sacreligious? Mozart was something of a pop star in the 18th century. True, I don’t se Natalija Verboten becoming a classic, but then again who knows… Even the Beach Boys secured their place in history.
I had no idea about the Society for Lovers of Slovenian Eurovision, but I smell a vast, right-wing conspiracy against Verboten. And since all eurovision songs sound exactly the same, it’s absolutely unfair to accuse any of the contestants of plagiarism. Seriously, though, the songs don’t sound too similar to me.Pengovsky: For hinting that Mozart is somehow in the same league as the pop stars of today, I think you’ve secured a spot for yourself on the burning pile.
Hehehe, what must I do to get to the very top of the pile?I guess you mean that I somehow insulted the likes of SaÅ¡a "I-did-have-my-boobs-fixed" Lendero or Jan "I’m-so-in-love-with-myself" Plestenjak?
Thanks for washing our dirty professional issues in public and twisting the scene to make me look like the coolest cold-blooded bitch I’ll never have the guts to be (beyond my wildest dreams). :-)My revenge shall be sweet and (apple-)juicy.
All right! Dirty Laundy by Don Henley, as performed by the team of RSI! :)))) More, more!!
Eurovision is a celebration of our collective retardation. How anyone can assign any important to it is beyond me.
But I’m pessimistic and uncool.However, in an attempt to redeem
myself, I will do something drastically awesome that I have not yet
decided upon ON THE CONDITION that Slovenia sends Laibach or Noctiferia
to this contest (probably the 2 biggest and original Slovene popular
music acts of modern times that nobody gives a shit about here). You may now return to the subject of Michael’s inner torment at this turn of events.
Don’t worry, Mike. I will put a voodoo hex on Kaca, she will fall ill with a mysterious illness and you will go on a pilgrimage to the double-domed temple. This I have seen.
Vivid imagination… I must say… ;)
Apologies for being thick and possibly missing the point entirely - but perhaps I ought to state the way I (mis)understand the things here. Michael is about to be sent to the SRF. He cunningly manages to avoid this unfortunate task with a clever (if foul) maneuver, and thanks (but-no-thanks) to him, KaÄ?a gets sent instead. But little does he know about Ms. Verboten’s appearance at the SRF, and he realizes his mistake all too late. Eventually his sinister plan backfires on him. So, the good prevails over evil and all is well.
Regakvak: You’re on the right track. Just slightly off. I like to think of it this way:Fact: Something went wrong.Fact: Michael is never wrong.Ergo: KaÄ?a is to blame.
Thanks for the Atomik Harmonik link I have just inflicted Kikirikiiii
on my neighbors! This is because I needed to take revenge for the Hell
Hounds!
are you sure whatever your neighbours did justifies punishment by AH? have a heart, will you…
Reading this, made my sunday. Thank you!Majkl FTW!!11!
My ears, my ears! (Yes, I’m watching EMA.)
… after EMA… eh… i think the jury will be critised… khm… still laughing, cause this was sooooo obvious…
but still badly sung plagiate shouldn’t go to the eurovison, that’s for sure… so it was for a good cause…
just one thing… i hope he’ll find a razor…