Archives for January 27th, 2006

Verboten will eat the competition’s children this weekend. (via Sloreactor)

Act I; scene i — Michael’s workplace. Michael is sitting at his desk. The head of music programming enters.

Music Editor: Are you going to SRF (the Slovenian Radio Festival) for us on Friday?
Michael: I’d rather not.
Music Editor: Why not?
Michael: I’m still recovering from the humiliation of mispronouncing Leeloojamais on-air last year. Besides, I went the last two years. What if someone else goes this time?
Music Editor: Like who?
Michael: Like KaÄ?a. She’s much better at this stuff.

Act I; scene ii — Michael’s workplace. Michael is sitting at his desk. KaÄ?a enters.

KaÄ?a: Hey, man, thanks for "volunteering" me for SRF.
Michael: Ha, ha. Anytime, KaÄ?.
KaÄ?a: You know that Natalija Verboten is coming this year, right? I’ll probably interview her and get my picture taken with her and everything.
  [Michael’s reaction]

 So, yeah. The moral of this story, as Aesop figured out centuries ago, is never trust a kaÄ?a. (snake) If it wasn’t for her unforgivable trickery, this story would have a second act. A juicy one. Maybe something like this:

Act II; scene i — Michael, holding a microphone and sweating, interviews Natalija Verboten at SRF.

Michael: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Natalija.
Natalija Verboten: Likewise. Say, you want to meet up after the show and party?
Michael: Hmm. That sounds like a lot of fun, but I’m married and probably shouldn’t. I’m really flattered, though.
Verboten: Well, how about if we go to your place instead? Then maybe your wife and I could slip into something sexy and make out on the bed while you sit and watch, smiling the smilingest smile that has ever been smiled.
  [Michael’s reaction]

You know what? I’m going to punch KaÄ?a in the face the next time I see her.

Moving right along: There is a lot of Verboten-related action this weekend that I think I should quickly mention. First, she will perform at SRF tonight. She probably won’t win, but at least she’ll get her picture taken with KaÄ?a. At SRF, the smart money is on Omar Naber and Jan Plestenjak. They’ve each been nominated about 50 times, so I’m doing what gamblers call "playing the odds."

It gets a little bit trickier when it comes to predicting who will win the EMA on Sunday. The winner of EMA gets to represent Slovenia at the widely disparaged but always talked-about Eurovision Song Contest. The current favorites are Atomik Harmonik, SaÅ¡a Lendero, and Ms. Verboten. If it was up to me, of course, this would be a done deal. But I have a nagging feeling that SaÅ¡a will win it. We’ll see what happens.

Finally, to answer your question: Yes, it’s very sacreligious to talk about this stuff while Europe is gearing up to celebrate Mozart Day. And, yes, being burned to death would be a fair punishment for me. All I ask is that you tie KaÄ?a to the same stake as me, so that I can die in peace.