Archives for January 11th, 2006

From the deck of the Norwegian Jewel. Click for live pic.

A beautiful girl named Melania Knauss, whose father was Austrian and mother was Slovene, but who was born in what-was-then Yugoslavia, and who married an American, was recently selected to act as godmother of the Norwegian Jewel. It’s a $400 million, nearly 100,000-ton cruise ship that was built in Miami, but sails in the Caribbean and Mediterranean. Despite the name, it doesn’t go anywhere near Norway. Or even Scandinavia.

So why Melania? What’s the connection? Why not pick a Norwegian model? Like Aylar Lie, for example. It’s true that Ms. Lie was actually born in Iran, but she competed in the Miss Norway 2004 competition. She didn’t win — but only because someone discovered her filmography, which includes such overlooked-by-the-academy stuff as "Throat Gaggers 2" and "Breakin’ ‘Em In 3." The hard-hearted judges, ignoring John 8:7, promptly disqualified her. She could’ve been a contender, though, she could’ve been somebody. Instead she had to go home, disgraced, and lie in bed, and think of things that might have been.

And when you think about it, with all the free time she has, she’d be able to fully devote herself to her cruise-ship godmothering duties. Whatever those are.