Archives for January, 2006

Dragan and Minja want YOU.

I miss the days when you didn’t have to look good to be a musician. Nowadays even the minimally talented can be successful musicians so long as their bilateral symmetry is in order. Gone are the days when two men in jean jackets, one of them androgynous, could stand and point at you half-beckoningly. Hopefully not forever, though.

Yikes. I wanted to watch EMA last night but instead I slept the dream of the apples and withdrew from the tumult of centuries at 8 p.m. I see that Verboten and all the favorites lost and my predictions were all horribly wrong. Did anyone watch it? (and survive?) How was it?

Verboten will eat the competition’s children this weekend. (via Sloreactor)

Act I; scene i — Michael’s workplace. Michael is sitting at his desk. The head of music programming enters.

Music Editor: Are you going to SRF (the Slovenian Radio Festival) for us on Friday?
Michael: I’d rather not.
Music Editor: Why not?
Michael: I’m still recovering from the humiliation of mispronouncing Leeloojamais on-air last year. Besides, I went the last two years. What if someone else goes this time?
Music Editor: Like who?
Michael: Like KaÄ?a. She’s much better at this stuff.

Act I; scene ii — Michael’s workplace. Michael is sitting at his desk. KaÄ?a enters.

KaÄ?a: Hey, man, thanks for "volunteering" me for SRF.
Michael: Ha, ha. Anytime, KaÄ?.
KaÄ?a: You know that Natalija Verboten is coming this year, right? I’ll probably interview her and get my picture taken with her and everything.
  [Michael’s reaction]

 So, yeah. The moral of this story, as Aesop figured out centuries ago, is never trust a kaÄ?a. (snake) If it wasn’t for her unforgivable trickery, this story would have a second act. A juicy one. Maybe something like this:

Act II; scene i — Michael, holding a microphone and sweating, interviews Natalija Verboten at SRF.

Michael: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Natalija.
Natalija Verboten: Likewise. Say, you want to meet up after the show and party?
Michael: Hmm. That sounds like a lot of fun, but I’m married and probably shouldn’t. I’m really flattered, though.
Verboten: Well, how about if we go to your place instead? Then maybe your wife and I could slip into something sexy and make out on the bed while you sit and watch, smiling the smilingest smile that has ever been smiled.
  [Michael’s reaction]

You know what? I’m going to punch KaÄ?a in the face the next time I see her.

Moving right along: There is a lot of Verboten-related action this weekend that I think I should quickly mention. First, she will perform at SRF tonight. She probably won’t win, but at least she’ll get her picture taken with KaÄ?a. At SRF, the smart money is on Omar Naber and Jan Plestenjak. They’ve each been nominated about 50 times, so I’m doing what gamblers call "playing the odds."

It gets a little bit trickier when it comes to predicting who will win the EMA on Sunday. The winner of EMA gets to represent Slovenia at the widely disparaged but always talked-about Eurovision Song Contest. The current favorites are Atomik Harmonik, SaÅ¡a Lendero, and Ms. Verboten. If it was up to me, of course, this would be a done deal. But I have a nagging feeling that SaÅ¡a will win it. We’ll see what happens.

Finally, to answer your question: Yes, it’s very sacreligious to talk about this stuff while Europe is gearing up to celebrate Mozart Day. And, yes, being burned to death would be a fair punishment for me. All I ask is that you tie KaÄ?a to the same stake as me, so that I can die in peace.

Two years old! And, yes, that’s a blurry Carniola font.

This blog began exactly two years ago today with this post. I can’t believe I’ve managed to keep going for so long without killing anyone (other than those two prostitutes). [Note to self: No more cocaine binges!!] But here we are. This is the 528th post.

To celebrate, I thought I’d go on a massive cocaine binge and maybe meet-up with some hookers later on. But then I remembered that this is a time for reflection; not blow-fuelled mayhem. Plus, I still haven’t cleaned up some of the stains from last time. You know what? Let’s not talk about it. Let’s talk about Carniola.

When I look back on my very first post, I remember how different it was back then. For a very long time there were no comments, no e-mails, no anything. My inbox was gloriously void of essays explaining why the Bay of Piran belongs to Croatia, or what I should do with my head in relation to my arse. On the other hand, as that changed, I realized that the comments on this site were what made things really worthwhile. It’s great when people can correct your errors, answer your questions, or provide opinions you didn’t think of. It’s helped me learn a lot about this country and the people who inhabit it. In a way, it’s been the perfect tool for assimilation.

I’m thankful to everyone who has commented here, or sent me something nice, or just stuck with me for one reason or another. Out of curiousity, I dove into the archives and dug up some of the first comments of regular commenters. (By regular, I mean people who have commented more than 20 times.) I started copying and pasting, and discovered that they made for an interesting pastiche. Kind of like a work of modern art, except not art. At any rate, here are the results:

The First Words of Regular Carniolans: 

(more…)

Like Natalija Verboten, Slovenia’s population pyramid is dangerously top-heavy.

Slovenia is facing a double whammy in the near future: 1) The lowest fertility rate in the EU, and 2) One of the smallest populations in Europe. It’s clear that there’s going to be a lot less Slovenes in a few years, although estimates vary. Eurostat figures that by 2050, there will be around 100,000 less Slovenes than now. The UN, meanwhile, thinks the population will drop by half a million.

The ones that remain will also be older. By 2050, according to the Slovenian Statistical Office, a full 31% of the population will be over 65. The U.S. Census Bureau predicts that people over 80 will be the single largest demographic group in Slovenia by then.

It’s clear that this will cause a host of problems. The question is: How to reverse the trend? Or, perhaps the better question is: Can it be reversed? As Wolfgang Lutz observes here (pdf), so far no country has ever recovered after dropping below the low-fertility "trap" of 1.5. Slovenia crossed that threshold around the time of independence. (See page 13 of the report. And for a detailed discussion of the entire report, see here.)

Of course, most western countries are facing a similar demographic challenge; Slovenia’s small size only makes the problem a big fat mess. For one, if immigration is the solution, what happens when immigrants outnumber Slovenes? And if the work force isn’t artificially bolstered from outside, what will happen to things like pensions?

As Vlad asked a long time ago: What is to be done?

The medieval days in Kranj. (source)

James Randi, the man behind the James Randi Educational Foundation, has been fighting paranormal nonsene since he was a teenager. His weekly commentary recently focused on Slovenia ("Slovenia Backs into the Middle Ages") after someone wrote to him complaining:

"I thought it might interest you that the Slovenian government and parliament have gone partially bonkers. A new law is in the procedure that would enable homeopathic medicines to be legally registered."

Randi gives a withering response, ending with a direct appeal to Ljubljana:

"I hope the Slovenian government will think again before falling into this trap of accepting pseudoscience; this is an opportunity for them to show their resistance to a form of medical treatment which, though immensely popular, is nonetheless useless and belongs back in medieval days.  Remember, not too long ago the process of blood-letting was standard procedure in medical practice.  It was discovered that this was not only ineffective, but was exceedingly damaging.  A long history of use is not a sufficient qualification for acceptance."

Other people in similar situations (in South Africa, Brazil and Mexico) wrote in to discuss the subject. I guess we’ll see what happens. I’m personally rooting for the scientific method. Go team!

I should mention, though, that if you or anyone you know has paranormal powers, Randi is offering a million dollars to see them demonstrated. All you have to do is "demonstrate any psychic, supernatural or paranormal ability under satisfactory observing conditions" and the cash is yours. The application is here. Oddly enough, not a single person has been able to do it so far.

(Thanks Marbit!) 

A police sketch of the perpetrator.

A Slovenian woman living in Australia was recently killed by a banana. Of all the ways to die, this must certainly be the oddest. And it didn’t even happen the way you probably imagine it: slipping cartoon-style on the peel…

She seems to have taken it with a sense of humor, though. And judging by the story, she was a fascinating and interesting woman by any measure. Requiescat in pace.

(Thanks Matt!) 

The xenophobic KHD unwilingly gets p0wned with a bilingual sign.

There are about 14,000 Slovenes living in the Austrian state of Carinthia. Unfortunately for them there are also about 25,000 members of the Kärntner Heimatdienst (KHD) in the same state. The KHD is a group that organizes such wholesome, fun-for-the-whole-family activities as the memorial festival for Wehrmacht and Waffen-SS veterans in Ulrichsberg every year. They’re also fighting on the front lines of the most important battle in Carinthia today: stopping the Slovenian minority’s nefarious plan of putting up bilingual signs in towns where they live. (Oh no!) In a dastardly set-back, Austria’s Constitutional Court ruled in 2001 that towns whose populations are at least 10% Slovene should put up such signs. But luckily for the KHD and other xenophobes, Austria’s highest court is more of an advisory board than anything else, because Governor Joerg "An-orderly-employment-policy-was-carried-out-in-the-Third-Reich" Haider has refused to put it into effect. (It’s worth noting that Slovenia has put up Italian-Slovene signs in coastal cities and that, so far, there have been no casualties, and no apocalypses.)

Which brings us to the photo you see above. It seems that someone (a genius by any measure) went to the lair of the KHD and replaced their sign with a bilingual one. Needless to say, the KHD didn’t think it was funny — it was "provocative." Their press release also included this very revealing sentence: Auf
diese Aktion wurden Funktionäre des KHD heute Nachmittag erst aufgrund eines
Berichtes im slowenischen „Volksgruppen-Radio“ des ORF aufmerksam. (KHD officials first became aware of this deed after a broadcast on the Slovenian radio service of ORF.)

That’s right: A group whose entire raison d’être is that bilingual signs would be catastrophic for Austria didn’t even notice when someone put one up at their place. They had to hear about it somewhere else first. There’s a lesson there, but I think the members of KHD aren’t sharp enough to get it.

(Many thanks to AZ2SI!) 

Slovenian President Janez Drnovšek.

Mr. Joel Schmidt of Brooklyn, New York, is currently on a mission: to correspond with each of the 200+ leaders of the world, compliment them on a job well done and request an autographed photo.

He still has a long way to go, but guess who was the fourteenth to reply? Hell, yeah! (Not exactly the leader of Slovenia — the president’s functions are largely ceremonial — but still.)

Mr. Schmidt also seemed to be confused by the word urad (it means "office") and the pronunciation of "Ljubljana." Then again, I’ve been here five years and still can’t say it right.

I wonder if he’ll get a reply from here? 

Ljubljansko barje. Photo courtesy of Maja and Marko.

The Slovenia group on Flickr has grown to a healthy 68 members since Carlos the Jackal started it up last summer. Although he originally intended it as a front for his anarcho-primitivist political activities, some great pictures have managed to turn up there — as can be witnessed here.

While wading in that pool of photographic delights, you may notice that the user name majamarko turns up repeatedly. And, if you’re like me, you may notice that their pictures are really quite stunning: really sharp and really vibrant. And more colorful than an exploding peacock. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve seen a nicer collection of photos of Slovenia than theirs. I’m looking forward to seeing more.

For a good starting point, try their favorited group — a sort of "greatest hits" compilation. Or rock your way through the slideshow thereof. And if you haven’t already, consider joining the Flickr Slovenia group — you can always tell the police you had no idea what Carlos was up to.