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Maribor, Slovenia.
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Who the hell is Chris Kallander?
If you don’t know it already, Technorati
is a great tool for keeping track of who links to you and who wants to
kill you because you made fun of their favorite band. It’s also great
for browsing through the world’s many blogs, or
setting up a watchlist for your favorite subjects.
I don’t visit it as often as I used to. The other day I learned,
though, that someone has claimed this site as their own. I’m not sure
how, but they did it. It’s terrible to imagine that all this time, this
Kallander has been getting fan e-mails intended for me. Hot and steamy ones, too, like: Hey
Chris, I saw over on Technorati that you’re the author of The Glory of
Carniola. I think your blog is rad and I’m attaching some gratuitous
naked photos of myself to prove it! Kisses, Shasta P.S. Let me
know if you’d be interested in judging the next Miss Hawaiian Tropic
competition — as last year’s winner, I get to suggest the judges! Just
reply to this e-mail and we’ll book the flight and everything!
In the meantime, I only get: Hey Majkl, fuck to you! HRVATSKA!
HRVATSKA! Fuck to the NATO! I piss on the grave that you will be
inhabiting in the future! I am hating you, Ivica P.S. Please
forward this message to any Slovenian friends you have.
I guess that’s the way the cookie crumbles.
UPDATE: I’m attempting to reclaim authorship and unseat the usurper. Technorati Profile
UPDATE 2: I failed. Nevermind.
Comments
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Just don’t bring your watch when you go judge the Hawaiian tropic competition, OK?
Is that comment from Croatia real or just an illustration of some of the bizarre mail you get? If it is, it certainly gives a new meaning to the phrase "a parody of itself." Maybe I can say this only because I’m not the target, but I think it’s hilarious, down to the polite but totally out-of-context P.S. at the end.BTW, I really find much of the vitriol between some Slovenes and Croats hard to understand. The two countries have never fought each other in any wars, neither really has its own ethnic minority within the other’s borders, their long-term goals are essentially complementary, both nations’ prosperity depends to a substantial degree on the prosperity of the other, etc.Now, I completely agree that the border issue is a serious problem. However, I also think that one can have a strong opinion on the matter and still mantain at least a semi-rational attitude towards the other nation. And no matter how or when the border issue is resolved, it is unlikely to impact most Slovenes’ or Croats’ lives directly.I also understand neighborly rivalry — everyone needs some healthy competition — but what does, well, peeing on future graves have to do with this?
-There are 2 guys drowning…a black guy and a white guy.-You can only save one! Who do you save?-The black, cause the white one could be croatian!
Hey, i’m linking to your site of course :>
The e-mail is an amalgamation of the types of e-mails I get. The
angry stuff is usually written by people with a poor command of
English, so it’s often very funny.I find the Croatia-Slovenia
rivalry just as baffling as you do. My best guess is that it’s Freud’s "narcissism of small differences" in action. –> "We reserve our most virulent
emotions – aggression, hatred, envy – towards those who resemble us the most. We
feel threatened not by the Other with whom we have little in common – but by the
"nearly-we", who mirror and reflect us."
I’d be happy to receive emails like that. A happy 2 min laugh in the
morning is probably a hell of a lot better than a cup of coffee to
start the day. Writing HRVATSKA twice, pure genius…pure genius…
I think that you know you’ve made it when you get a) hate mail b) a stalker. I’m still waiting to cross that bridge.
i agree with the comment that u have made it when u receive hate-mail. what i don’t agree with is that same-sex marriage, losers who spend all day reading carniola.org, men who have hair (ponces), men who don’t have hair (bald, ugly bastards), feminism, communism, nazism, ismism, and anything else that any of you sad losers reading this might have a passion for. But, i definitely do agree that u have made it when u receive hate-mail. By the way, my email address is the_deal_real@hotmail.com none of you have any brains and u r all fat and ugly.
Poulette: Wouldn’t Doug Bagley or whatever count as an e-stalker? Wouldn’t I? Bwwhahahaha.
This Chris Kallendar character puts a whole new spin on Identitiy Theft. Here
I thought all one had to worry was your money related ids. Now
they’re going for your soul. How do you poison pill your
soul to root out these dastardly demons?
Crni: ha, ha, I think you just might be right about the Bagster and you haven’t even seen the e-mails he sends me! As for you, I prefer the term "deranged fan" as opposed to "stalker". Let’s just say it gets me through the night more easily.
i propose we make this Chris Kallander guy the external enemy of this our endangered community… it’s Goldberg, if you will. complete with the daily two minute hates.
Michael: Not only is that a great quote, I agree that it’s incredibly relevant to this situation.Cornelius: Isn’t Juraj Lisiak of Slovakia.org our designated external enemy? Maybe we can have two.
ok TWO MINUTES EVERYBODY! let us direct all bad vibes bad thoughts
and general attitude problems in the generall direction of Mr.
Kallendar please! guys like him sould be impaled, then while still
alive taken down and eviscerated with the same stick and then
charged a large fee for the stick while watching a dog mate with
their mother and or their girlfriend. I suggest we all send the
guy such blisteringly nasty hatemail from untraceable sources that he
has the most horrible dreams, and runs screaming into the night to be
picked up by the police and thrown into a pestiferous facility for the
criminally insane. how DARE that sina kurva claim to be OUR Michael M?!!! wut da fuk?!?
oh yeah. i completely forgot about mr. Juraj “Slovakia-is-the-jewel-of-Europe-while-Slovenia-is-a-war-torn-Balkan-shit-hole” Lisjak… maybe we can compromise - maybe we can have mondays, wednesdays and fridays dedicated to Lisjak, and tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays dedicated to Kallander?
We have a deal, Cornelius!
BTW, I just realized that the wonderful Freud quote cited by Michael above ("We reserve our most virulent emotions – aggression, hatred, envy – towards those who resemble us the most. We feel threatened not by the Other with whom we have little in common – but by the "nearly-we", who mirror and reflect us") probably also explains Juraj Lisiak.
you know i had the same thought. although in this case, the similarities go even as far as the names of our two countries, giving this case an even further spin…
As long as we are doing some pop psychology here, Juraj Lisiak may also be exhibiting symptoms of what Australians call the Tall Poppy Syndrome, but on a national level.
AZ2SI: what a great titbit to put on my ever expanding “useless trivia list” (c). thanks.
i think slovenes have a similar mindset, too. of course here it might be due to our political history and the stygma (rightfully) atributed to the transition nouveau riche.
oh yeah, completely OT, but i figured i might return the favor. here’s one of my favorites from my "useless trivia list" (c).