Archives for March 21st, 2005

An autographed postcard by Slovenian singing sensation, Natalija Verboten.

Scene: It is the distant future. A tour guide is leading people through the famous Carniola Muzej, a museum dedicated entirely to the legendary blog, The Glory of Carniola.

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Tour Guide: "Okay, if you’ll just follow me into the next room. Here we have some nice pieces you might recognize. Up here on the left is the original autographed postcard by Natalija Verboten from post #345, which premiered on March 21, 2005. Most of you probably remember it. This was during the height of Michael M.’s so-called "Verboten period" which lasted from 2003-2010. As you can see, the postcard says: Michaelu v spomin od ♥, Natalija. ("To Michael, with memories of love, Natalija") Scholars disagree about the significance of this. Some think it’s a generic and meaningless phrase, like the kind you would find in a high-school yearbook. They also point out that Michael only got this because of his friend and colleague Andrej, whose best-selling autobiography: Moja noga boli od vseh riti, ki sem jih moral do sedaj zbrcat, (My Foot Hurts From All the Ass I’ve Had to Kick So Far) specifically mentions that Natalija had no idea who Michael was when she signed it. However, other scholars see the signature as revealing a very deep, possibly metaphysical, connection between M. and Verboten. They base this on the–"

Little Girl: "Dad, what are you talking about?"

Tour Guide: "–sheer size of the heart. It’s definitely a very big heart. I don’t think that can be denied. And we can also–"

Little Girl: "Dad!!"

Tour Guide: "–see by her choice of words that she really, deeply –"

Little Girl: "DAD!!!"

Tour Guide: "What is it, sweetie?"

Little Girl: "What are you talking about?"

Tour Guide: "What do you mean?"

Little Girl: "What is this? What’s all this stuff on the walls? Does this have something to do with your stupid web site?"

Tour Guide: "It’s called a blog, honey. Remember? How many times does Daddy have to tell you?"

Little Girl: "Whatever. I’m taking this stuff down."

Tour Guide: "Hey! Hey — careful with that– Hey! Don’t– Okay, that’s it, missy! Go to your room!"

Little Girl: "This IS my room!!"

Tour Guide: "—"

Little Girl: "And you totally wrecked it!"

Tour Guide: "Ma’am, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave now so we can finish the tour."

Little Girl: "What tour? I’m the only one here!"

Tour Guide: "Ma’am, I’m afraid I’ll have to call security now."

Little Girl: "You mean Mom?"

Tour Guide: "That’s affirmative."

Little Girl: "She’s not here. And she’s going to be really angry when she sees what you did to the living room."

Tour Guide: "Hmm. Where did she go?"

Little Girl: "She went out to get some groceries."

Tour Guide: "Did you tell her to bring back some baklava?"

Little Girl: "Yeah."

Tour Guide: "Great!"