Archives for February 22nd, 2005

Prevedi.slowwwenia.com does instant Slovene-English translations. Click to try.

I have this reoccurring nightmare that I’ll eventually master
Slovene (say, in 50 years) and that the very next day I’ll turn on the
television and see this:

Anchorman: Well, a stunning development today with huge
implications. Researchers from MIT have developed a device that
instantly and perfectly translates all languages in real time. The machine is small,
fits over one ear, and comes bundled with 4000 languages. One of the people behind this revolutionary new device is
with us in the studio today. Thank you for coming in, professor.

Professor: Thanks for having me, Jim.

Anchorman: What are the implications of your invention?

Professor: Well, there are many implications. First, it means
that people don’t have to learn languages anymore. This device will make
everyone able to speak and understand any language fluently and without any problems.

Anchorman: So, what about all our viewers out there who spent hours and hours
and hours of their lives studying and memorizing how to conjugate verb
and noun forms? Would you say that these people have wasted their time?

Professor: Oh, absolutely. I mean, think of all the wonderful
things they could have been doing instead of grammar exercises: taking hot baths, going to rave concerts, experimenting with drugs. The possibilities are limitless.

Anchorman: What would you say to these foolish people, who so foolishly made fools of themselves for all these years? Should they just go ahead and kill themselves?

Professor: Oh, absolutely, Jim.

* * *

It’s a scary scenario. The only thing that gives me comfort is that, so far, the effort isn’t going too well. This page translates small blocks of text from Slovene into English or from English into Slovene. But like Babel Fish, the results are convoluted at best and incomprehensible at worst. Take for example this quote by Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek: (You can listen to him say it here.) (MP3 via Lair105)

"ImaÅ¡ nekega zamorÄ?ka v Afriki, mu daÅ¡ pet dolarjev na mesec in potem dobiÅ¡ enkrat na leto sliko, kako te ima rad. Jasno je, zakaj plaÄ?ujeÅ¡. PlaÄ?ujeÅ¡ ne zato, da bi bilo njemu boljÅ¡e, ampak zato, da ostane - tam."

The proper translation would be something like:

"You have a certain black person in Africa, to whom you donate five dollars a month and who once a year sends you a picture to show you how much he loves you. It’s clear why you’re paying. You’re not paying because you want him to do better, but because you want him to stay — there."

Here’s the machine’s attempt:

"Have a certain zamorÄ?ka in Africa, him come on five dollars on month and after get at last per year picture, how you like. He is eating Jasna, why do you pay. Pay no that is why, that he would be better, but it stays - there." (emphasis mine)

What makes it funny is that it misinterpreted je jasno ("it’s clear") as je Jasno ("eating Jasna" — Jasna being a female name). Of course, that’s the problem with these translators. They can only translate literally without any feeling for content.

The same problem happens in reverse. For example, the English sentence:

"My favorite bands are Smashing Pumpkins, Johnny Cash, and Nine Inch Nails."

Becomes:

"Moji priljubljeni traki so Smashing BuÄ?e, Johnny Gotovinski, in Devet Inch Žeblji."

Maybe I have nothing to worry about after all…