Not sure if you’re a real Slovene? Take this simple test and find out! Results are 100% guaranteed accurate!

Instructions: Read the following situation and then select the answer that best describes what you would do.

1) You are using a bankomat (ATM) somewhere in Slovenia. You type in your four-digit code, press znesek po izbiri (choose an amount), select the smallest possible sum — 1000 SIT — and then see the dreaded message: Storitev trenutno ni mogoca. (This service is not possible at the moment) In other words, the machine is empty.

There are five people waiting patiently in line behind you and they don’t notice anything wrong. What do you do?

A. Take out your cell phone, call the responsible bank and ask to speak to the person in charge. Tell them that the machine is empty and ask when it will be refilled. Then tell everyone what the bank just told you.

B. Simply inform everyone that the machine is empty and then go find another one.

C. Shout something like pa daj! (oh, come on!) and then angrily walk away so that everyone knows something is wrong — although they won’t know if it’s with your account or with the machine itself.

D. Quietly take your card out of the machine, and then walk away without saying anything. Let the assholes behind you figure it out for themselves.

—— Your Score —–

A. You are a norec. Only someone with severe mental problems would call a Slovenian bank and ask to speak to the person in charge. Nine times out of ten, they won’t know themselves and will transfer you to someone in Koper, who will transfer you to someone in Ljubljana, who will transfer you to a cleaning lady in Kranj. After an hour or two, you’ll be transferred to someone in Jesenice, who will misunderstand what you want and immediately delete your account.

B. You are a tujec. Possibly Canadian or British. No real Slovene would do a favor to complete strangers.

C. You are a domobranec. You are very, very close to being an authentic Slovene. But a small part of you secretly hates your Slovenian identity. Maybe you would gladly change your surname from Novak to Neumann if the Germans ever invaded again. Secretly, you dream of escaping to some faraway place, like New Zealand or Stuttgart.

D. You are a Slovenec. Congratulations, you’re the real deal! You couldn’t possibly become any more Slovene, even though you desperately want to. You’re a perfect cistokrvni. (pureblood) Hura! (Hurrah!)